Keep Love Simple
When I wake up in the morning and my feet hit the floor, I have one thought that travels through my mind. I say, “Yep, that’s right devil, I’m awake and you should be afraid!”
Why should he be afraid, you ask? Well, because I was made to do something great! I was created to influence people and their relationships. I have been given a gift by God to teach, instruct, and inspire that REAL relationships are possible. I am made to give the message that even if your past relationships didn’t work or there is turmoil in your current situation, it ABSOLUTELY does NOT need to stay there.
There is HOPE!
My heart is for parents and the relationship you have with your kids. Raising kids can be tough. It’s tiring and a 24/7 job. Yet when done with intention, can reap a beautiful meaningful life for both of you.
If you currently have a decent relationship with your kid, I am here to breathe confidence that you can have an even deeper one.
Wherever you are along your journey, remember you can always choose, right now, each morning, to show up in your relationships and do the right thing. Tomorrow is gone… FOREVER! You can NEVER go back!!!!!! EVER.
So, make today count, make this week count, make this year count!
To love someone is the greatest honor that life can give you. To give wholeheartedly of yourself to someone else is a beautiful gift not just for them but also for yourself. To show up unselfishly and just love them because you love them, it’s so beautifully simple!
Love is made up of a million little things.
- Answer the phone when they call.
- Make them a favorite meal.
- Go to the ball game WITH them.
- Write them a letter and tell them, in detail, why you are proud of them.
- Go get a pedicure together.
- Exercise together.
- Go on a walk.
- Throw the football.
- Watch a movie that THEY want to watch.
- Make cookies (even if you buy the cookie dough, which is our favorite).
- Set the table and eat together.
- Set up a picnic in your front yard. Everyone sits on a big blanket. Grab some easy takeout if needed. Bring a frisbee or ball and time how long it will take till someone picks up the ball and wants to play.
- Put your phone away!
- Tell them to put their phone away!
After you’ve set the stage, just enjoy being together.
ENJOY BEING TOGETHER!
Let’s evaluate how YOU are doing.
- Connecting 2x week - If you are in the habit of doing things like this about twice a week, I want to confirm for you these things are making a huge difference in the life of your child. Keep going!
- Connecting 1-2x month - If you only do these things on occasion, it’s time to step up the pace. Time is running out and you only have so long with your kids in your home and under your influence and I encourage you to stop wasting time.
- Connecting less than 1x month - If this is you, your family and your relationship with your son or daughter is hurting. However, there is hope for you and you are not too late! Choose today to be the one who changes and takes a step towards a healthy and loving relationship.
When you begin to change in these little ways, some of these activities are going to feel awkward at first. One thing I would recommend doing to help is to come to the setting with a few well-researched and prepared jokes to tell. It’s pretty funny when no one knows what to say and you just start telling jokes. First, your kid is going to think you are super weird. And they will laugh just because you are embarrassing them, or they feel so awkward they don’t know what to say. But then, they will smile and laugh at the joke too!
Just let it be awkward. You don’t have to fix it. Just practice being together. Even if your time together is done and you don’t feel any connection and no significant conversation has started, just trust the process, and lean into the activity of practicing. It may take some time, but the process works so don’t give up and keep secluding regular (2x week) to connect and be together in this way.
How do you know if your efforts are working?
The results will start to slowly take place. You’ll notice that your son or daughter will start coming to you with little things. They might be telling you something funny their friends said, or they might ask your opinion about their shirt, or who knows, just be on the watch for the smallest of things coming from them to you.
That’s the key that you know your efforts to connect with them are starting to sink in.
THEY will come to YOU!
It may even come in the form of a question like, “Hey Mom, do you think we could have hamburgers for dinner?” These are HUGE wins so don’t dismiss them. Just give a normal response and enjoy the moment for yourself that they reached out to you.
Lastly, remember that LOVE WINS and you can absolutely have a good relationship with your child. Keep going, and develop good habits of spending time together. The rewards are a life surrounded by the people you love the most, your family.
Much love,
Angela
P.S. The Blog picture is my son Preston and I. We just got some coffee and hot cocoa drinks and were sitting on the steps by our front door just talking.
